My pastor once said, God is more interested in your
character traits than your comfort. To some people a concern
for character may sound a little on the pious side. They may feel
either that character is not too important, or that they can take
care of themselves at this point.
But to the women who is married; to an
irresponsible gambler, a man fleeing across the country wanted by
the police, and to the man whose business career and social standing
have been ruined by an unscrupulous wife; to the girl whose husband
deserted her as soon as she became pregnant, the matter of character
cannot be so easily dismissed.
Crooks do not go around with labels on, ringing
a bell. They look, talk, and appear like anyone else. Some of them
are even beautiful, charming, and lovable.
So why are character traits so important?When you select a dating mate as potential marriage
partner, you are choosing far more than a bed-fellow and companion
for your recreation. You are selecting a partner in a permanent
building enterprise who will be among other things:
1. The other parent of your children. This
requires christian character traits, personality
traits and the intelligence necessary to guide and direct the
development of growing children.
2. One who will have rather complete access to
your bank account and credit. Such a trust requires not only honesty,
but enough discipline to keep from squandering needed family
resources for personal whims.
3. Even more important, that person will have
intimate access to you; your innermost thoughts and feelings, your
hopes and plans, your ambitions and aspirations. By encouraging
you when you need it most, or by lending a hand or dragging his feet
when the going gets tough, he may be able to make or break you. The
way your mate gets along, or does not get along with your friends,
neighbors and business associates can do much to determine your
social and professional success.
Your parents may have had more influence upon you,
but this you could not help. No one else will mean so much for your
future as the one whom you choose as your mate.
Remember that you are choosing more than a
companion for fun. You are choosing someone to do a total job; a
job which requires a high level of integrity, competence,
self-discipline and finesse. This choice is one of the most
important decisions which you will ever make.
To marry a person with serious personality
or character traits defects is not to help him. Usually it will make
the condition worse. The following are some important questions you
can start asking about character traits:
you both practice socially acceptable sex standards?
Are your manners acceptable to the social group with
which you will associate?
Are you both sufficiently truthful and reliable to
make possible good relationships with each other and with your
Are you both satisfactorily honest regarding
Do you both have a kindly, humane attitude toward
The importance of the character traits which we
have discussed so far is generally recognized. Therefore we could
treat them with brevity. Other character traits, quite as important
for success in marriage, are less well understood. We shall now
consider these traits, beginning with these questions.
How about changing each other after you marry?
Can you accept each other as you are?
Is your basic attitude toward life appreciative or