Happy and Optimistic Temperament.
By optimism we do not mean a "whistling in the dark" kind of synthetic cheer or a refusal to look at the less happy aspects of life. We mean the tendency to find life worthwhile. Each individual is somewhat like a magnet, passing over the experiences of life.

He picks out and attracts to himself that which is in harmony with his own personality traits. Both optimism and pessimism are reflections of personality traits. They reveal much about the basic structure of the individual.

Those who pick out, and attract to themselves the finer and happier experiences of life, will also both get and contribute the happier experiences of marriage. The person who finds life and relationship more worthwhile for himself, will be more likely to make it more worthwhile for his life partner.

Good Mental Adjustment
This point will be developed more extensively in the mental health page, but should be briefly considered here.

The person who selects the happier aspects of life will not be unduly bothered by little things. He will find life much too interesting and worthwhile to get his feelings easily hurt, or to be touchy, grouchy, or lonesome.

A special study has been made of the relationship of being neurotic to marriage success. As we would expect, the most successful marriages were those in which neither of the couple was neurotic.

The next best was when only the wife was neurotic and the husband not. The next was when the husband, not the wife was neurotic. The worst situation is when both are neurotic.

Wholesome Attitude of Give and Take
This point is, of course, related to the desire to dominate. The person who has enough resources within himself, and can adapt himself to different kinds of situations does not always have to have his own way. Since he lives more happily himself, he is a happier and more satisfactory person to live with in the intimacies of marriage.

Thoughtfulness and Consideration Toward Others
We will not have to elaborate this point, will we? The person who is thoughtful and considerate toward his partner makes the relationship happier, not only for the other, but for himself as well.

Attitude of Sharing Hardships and Difficulties & Joys
Every person needs the support of others. It is certainly undesirable for a person to be always dumping his troubles upon someone else. On the other hand, it is not desirable to keep one's troubles to one's self.

Christian Dating relationship is a partnership which rightly includes the worse as well as the better. The person who bottles up his troubles within himself so as not to distress his partner, poisons himself.

Troubles, worries, and fears need to be shared, as well as joys. As to the children, they do need protection from pressures beyond their strength. But they should not be overprotected. Many families have become stronger during hard times and troubles because they shared their difficulties with the children.

Personality traits as such have little importance for success in relationships, provided that they are genuine. Introvert and extrovert, hard driving, and easy-going people; those who have great initiative and those who have little can all succeed in relationships.

Do you want to know your personality traits, do it at eHarmony Free Personality Profile page.

Trouble arises when an individual feels impelled to live "out of character." If husband or wife puts undue pressure upon each other to be what they are not, there will be trouble.

Even more serious will be the situation in which the person feels within himself that he must be what he actually is not and often cannot become. Such a condition indicates a lack of inner harmony without which no marriage and no life can succeed; a failure at what is probably the most crucial problem of marriage and life; mental health.

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