Understanding Your Partner's Personality Traits
Why is knowing one's personality traits so
important to your christian dating? Well, it will help you to
answer the question, "What shall we do on our dates?" If you go into
the questions raised seriously together with your christian dating
partner, you can have lots of fun.
Let us begin with this matter of personality types,
and how they may affect your dating experience.
Are you introvert or extrovert and how will
introvert-extrovert differences affect your date?
What do you know about dominant and submissive
What personality traits make for adjustment in
relationships?Fortunately at this point I have results of
research to help us with our answer. Here are the characteristics
which make for happiness and success.
Happy and Optimistic Temperament.
optimism we do not mean a "whistling in the dark" kind of synthetic
cheer or a refusal to look at the less happy aspects of life. We
mean the tendency to find life worthwhile. Each individual is
somewhat like a magnet, passing over the experiences of life.
He picks out and attracts to himself that which is
in harmony with his own personality traits. Both optimism and
pessimism are reflections of personality traits. They reveal much
about the basic structure of the individual.
Those who pick out, and attract to themselves the
finer and happier experiences of life, will also both get and
contribute the happier experiences of marriage. The person who finds
life and relationship more worthwhile for himself, will be more
likely to make it more worthwhile for his life partner.
Good Mental Adjustment
This point will be
developed more extensively in the mental
health page, but should be briefly considered here.
The person who selects the happier aspects of life
will not be unduly bothered by little things. He will find life much
too interesting and worthwhile to get his feelings easily hurt, or
to be touchy, grouchy, or lonesome.
A special study has been made of the relationship
of being neurotic to marriage
success. As we would expect, the most successful marriages were
those in which neither of the couple was neurotic.
The next best was when only the wife was neurotic
and the husband not. The next was when the husband, not the wife was
neurotic. The worst situation is when both are neurotic.
Wholesome Attitude of Give and Take
point is, of course, related to the desire to dominate. The person
who has enough resources within himself, and can adapt himself to
different kinds of situations does not always have to have his own
way. Since he lives more happily himself, he is a happier and more
satisfactory person to live with in the intimacies of marriage.
Thoughtfulness and Consideration Toward
We will not have to elaborate this point, will we? The
person who is thoughtful and considerate toward his partner makes
the relationship happier, not only for the other, but for himself as
Attitude of Sharing Hardships and Difficulties
Every person needs the support of others. It is
certainly undesirable for a person to be always dumping his troubles
upon someone else. On the other hand, it is not desirable to keep
one's troubles to one's self.
relationship is a partnership which rightly includes the worse
as well as the better. The person who bottles up his troubles within
himself so as not to distress his partner, poisons himself.
Troubles, worries, and fears need to be shared, as
well as joys. As to the children, they do need protection from
pressures beyond their strength. But they should not be
overprotected. Many families have become stronger during hard times
and troubles because they shared their difficulties with the
Personality traits as such have little importance
for success in relationships, provided that they are genuine.
Introvert and extrovert, hard driving, and easy-going people; those
who have great initiative and those who have little can all succeed
Do you want to know your personality traits, do it at
eHarmony Free Personality Profile page.
Trouble arises when an individual feels impelled to
live "out of character." If husband or wife puts undue pressure upon
each other to be what they are not, there will be trouble.
Even more serious will be the situation in which
the person feels within himself that he must be what he actually is
not and often cannot become. Such a condition indicates a lack of
inner harmony without which no marriage and no life can succeed; a
failure at what is probably the most crucial problem of marriage and
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