It is not easy to tell of one's emotional stability. Here are a few suggestions which may help.

Are they usually well poised? Under sufficient pressure, almost anyone will become irritable. All of us are occasionally "out of sorts." But if slight irritations bother them too much, this is a danger signal of emotional stability problem.

The ability to keep from getting unduly excited, even in serious situations, is a good sign. The person is not easily bothered or upset, at this point, is a good marriage bet. Are they excessively "nervous?" Have they ever had a "nervous breakdown?" If yes, this will not necessarily unfit them for marriage. People can recover from this, as from any ailment.

But if the tendency to nervous breakdown remains, watch out. A history of several nervous breakdowns is a danger signal which ought to be examined by a competent consultant.

Do they drink excessively? Do you find that at times they are not able to control their drinking? In recent years, scientific research has been done on the subject of alcoholism. We now know that this is a mental illness. No alcoholic is a safe matrimonial risk until he/she has been completely cured.

Are they chain smokers? This is a less serious form of the same problem. If chronic, it usually indicates a difficulty which should be looked into.

Do they strongly desire to dominate others? Does it annoy them unduly to recognize that they are wrong sometimes; do they always have to be right? Are they constantly changing their job, their school, or their friends?

Can they make up their own mind? As children, we tend to follow rather uncritically the judgments of our parents, teachers, or the gang we go with. But as we grow up, we should be able to form our own judgments; to listen to different opinions, and weigh them intelligently.

As adults, we must continue to depend upon the judgment of experts in areas which are not our specialties. Yet it is one thing to depend upon others for our facts. It is another to accept their opinions in all matters without question.

The expert is often wrong. The person who has the emotional stability always reserves the right to make his own judgment. If you follow blindly the judgments of some friend, radio commentator, church, magazine, newspaper, or political party, it is a sign of danger.

Why is the ability to make up your own mind important for success in relationship? In the first place, because of what it indicates. As we have repeatedly pointed out, marriage and parenthood are difficult jobs. They require a high degree of intelligence and understanding for success.

If they depend primarily upon some outside "authority," they will not be able to make the kind of emotional stability which are essential if they are to run your household and bring up your children wisely.

Only those who can assume responsibility for their own judgments are ready to assume the responsibilities of marriage.

Are you developed enough to be able to live happily with others?

Will you be a good influence on your children?

Find Out Who You Really Are Through A Free Personality Profile At eHarmony

Back to Marriage and Mental Health page